The Happiness Project

by Gretchen Rubin
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Maybe I'll change it to five stars some day. For now, it's a four-star book. (Although, part of me wants to buy a copy -- I borrowed it from the library -- so I can have all the ideas close at hand.)
To me, Gretchen Rubin is an admirable, over-achieving big sister: I want to be more like her, then part of me realizes I'lll never be like her and so I hate her. Just a little.
The Yale law school graduate/former Sandra Day O'Connor law clerk/best-selling author/upper East Side Manhattan resident/wife of investment banker/daughter-in-law of a former U.S. Secretary of Treasury/mother who has a nanny
and housekeeper decided she wanted to maximize happiness in her life.
She wan't unhappy but she wasn't as happy as she knew she could be. (By the way, half of these details are not disclosed in the book. I had to read a New York Times story to fully appreciate what kind of privileged life she lived. She insists the incredible fortune in her life helped create some happiness but doesn't make it impossible for someone living in an apartment in the Bronx from being as happy or happier than her.)

Rubin she did an admirable amount of research about all types of topics that contribute toward happiness -- finances, health, family and relationships, and various fun activities.

Each month, she focused on one topic with large and small goals associated with the topic. For instance, in February, she focused on her marriage. She tried not to nag at her husband, not to keep a running total on who has done more for the kids, to send "proofs of love," which were short emails updating him on cute things the kids did that day while he was at work. She planned a special birthday party for her mother-in-law on behalf of her husband, his siblings and father. To be honest, I was underwhelmed by husband's level of appreciation for most of her February efforts. But she said that by the end of the year, he had started doing household tasks without her asking him first.

I learned there are two kinds of fun. Watching a movie or reading a book, which requires little-to-no effort, is sort of an immediate source of fun.

A more challenging fun activity, which could be an art project or learning a song on the piano, feels less fun but is more rewarding over the long-term. So to be happy, you need both kinds of fun in your life. <br/><br/>She also encourages people to start activities they thought were fun as kids. For her, she started a children's literature group. She also got back into rag-a-tag scrapbooking. I don't know what my children's activity is, but honestly, I do a lot of the same stuff I did as a kid -- piano, writing, reading, laughing my guts off with friends, etc.

Another thing I learned from Rubin is the value of cleaning and organizing. In January, she organized a few closets in her house. She has a mantra that I have adopted that goes something like this -- If it takes a while to find it, it's time to clean up. So true! I'm a lot happier and at peace after I reorganize. I always thought I was the type of person who didn't care about being super clean. And I still think I'm that way. But organizing and cleaning up occasionally does have it's upsides, too.

She created an elaborate chart outlining various goals and mini-goals for each month -- which apparently we can mimic on a website she launched for others who want to start happiness projects. I did not visit that website, although I'm a "fan" of Rubin on a Facebook page that regularly takes me to another website, where there are plenty of videos and articles on happiness.

So I would say I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It's so practical and common-sense, but the foundation is rooted in contemporary happiness research.... and the best part is that I didn't have to do the research! And, of course, psychology research gets outdated over time, but hopefully she'll keep up her various websites to keep me in the know.