Love

Love is so complicated because I may want a someone who wants someone else.

And I suppose, there are times when someone may want me, but I don't want him.

I don't think I'm alone in the experience. I think it affects most if not every modern, Western-style relationship. I've observed it in friends' and family members' relationships as well: Girl loves guy, guy thinks she's okay but would prefer Woman 2 because he clicks with her better.

I'm writing here about love, not sex.  Of course, everyone fantasizes about a better-looking, more exciting man or woman in bed. That's how our brains work sexually, right?

So when people marry, does that mean that they're settling for second best? And is that necessarily bad?

Now I'm asking all these stupid, unanswerable questions like Sarah Jessica Parker's character in "Sex and the City."

So for the sake of not wanting to sound like Carrie Bradshaw, I'm going to guess answers to my questions.

Some lucky souls marry a partner who they love best.

Others settle. But they don't necessarily see it as settling because the goal is a long-term relationship, possibly marriage, children and all the rest. Therefore, they "love the one they're with," as the song goes, because it's not possible to get the long-term relationship with the other. The other is judged as an illusion.

I'd like to see divorce rates of people who marry the one they love the most and people who settle.